Going Gay on The Big Island
Everyone has that special place to just leave the whole dumb world behind. They aren’t as easy to find these days with wi-fi, Blackberry’s and universal Internet access. Spots that once were havens for seasoned travelers are now playgrounds for anyone who can access the web. Hawaii is possibly the most trampled upon group of islands in the world if you don’t include those little slices of earth owned by the cruise ship companies. Consider the hoards of people at the airport in Waikiki jamming 5 boxes of chocolate covered Macadamia nuts in their bags for their friends at work.
So here’s a thought…when you have the chance to go to Hawaii, why not go to Hawaii? The “Big Island,” and the one that is really called “Hawaii,” is probably the least visited of the landmasses making up the 49th state. A little piece of advice for you….go to Kona, go to Kona, go to Kona. Now my husband and I may be a little prejudiced here as our friend has a really cool house we stay in every year, but the hotels there look pretty dang nice!
Being insatiable foodies, all trips include visiting local restaurants along with sampling neighborhood stores and farmers markets. What a treat to learn upon our Saturday arrival that the Hawaiian Islands HIV/AIDS Foundation was hosting their signature event “Taste of Life” at the Sheraton Keauhou. The evening featured tastes from many of the Island’s top restaurants and hotels. It was also a great way to meet up with other gay couples and like minded individuals on an Island with only one tiny little gay bar. How cool is that? So our first night in Kona was spent indulging in bites from a few dozen restaurants and mingling with the locals who could have not been more welcoming.
We feasted upon endless morsels and after having spent hours with the incredibly hospitable owners, Erik and his partner Scott, we selected Huggo’s as our home base while we were there. Founded in 1969, this place is still way cool. You seriously couldn’t build a place like this these days considering the permit process and political correctness of not using the coastline. Huggo’s has two distinct spaces, both dead on the water. Yeah baby! For lunch, the uber casual place actually has sand for a floor with a menu perfect for an Island hangover. Righteous Mai Tai’s, huge burgers and really nice fish sandwiches got us though the first afternoon. Dinner a few nights later was awesome in the upscale dining room. Do NOT leave Kona without trying the teriyaki steak. How the heck did they make that soooooo good?
On the nights we didn’t dine out, the local farmers markets provided a bounty of delicious delights. Gigantic Rib Eyes from local Parker Ranch cattle were so tender and flavorful that our eyes still well up at the thought of them. Brochettes of Mahi Mahi with island vegetables or Opa encrusted with crushed macadamia nuts were easily prepared and devoured. And yes, we did gain pounds.
For someplace with nothing to do, you will never get a chance to do it all. If you’re staying on the Kona side of the Island, check out the Mauna Kea, which was built a bazillion years ago by Nelson Rockefeller. This is probably why his wife was named “Happy”. The place has seen better days, but the snorkeling on the beach is unbeatable. We went way the heck out along the rocks to swim with sea turtles, schools of pencil fish, that one fish with all the vowels in its name, and some other tanned adventurers. You don’t need to stay at the hotel to hang at the beach, but get there early because public parking is very limited and only available with a permit. The permit is free, but there are only about 50 of them and when they’re gone, they’re gone. We got there at 9am on a Saturday and there were only a few spots left.
As we mentioned before, there is one small gay bar in Kona, located in strip shopping center no less. “Mask” is a bitsy little place, but it was fun to go hang and play darts while shooting the breeze with a couple locals. I must say we could’ve done without the exceptionally bad drag show that seemed to manifest itself out of nowhere. It certainly made for good stories later. Um…does this place have a mirror? Mask is at 75-5660 Kopiko Plaza, just past the Rite Aid. Really. 808-329-8558. They couldn’t have been nicer there, and despite the lack of local meeting places, Kona has a very active Internet gay community that is pretty easy to find. Lots of couples and singles have escaped to the Island and are great to hang out with.
Taking a few days to drive around the whole island is a fun adventure. The South end sports the most active volcano in the world, replete with sulphur belching craters, lava flows and a cocktail bar right on the edge. Who can stop progress? The flora around the crest of the main crater is unbelievable with wild orchids, dense ferns and trees that are very Jurassic Park. Take your time and wander a bit, especially if there aren’t five giant tour buses there, which, fair warning, may be rare.
On the way into Hilo, make sure to make a stop at the Mauna Loa macadamia nut plantation. It is massive with over 2,500 acres and 250,000 trees. It’s only a few miles before you hit town, but it’s easy to miss with the sudden entrance on your right. It’s worth the swerve though. Check out the manufacturing floor that is viewable through the big windows on the right side of the parking lot. They still have live humans dipping the nuts in chocolate and putting them in boxes. The whole thing is very reminiscent of Lucy and Ethyl in the ever-famous candy factory skit. The adjoining store has “everything macadamia” from pasta, oils, candy and spreads. Yum! If you’re by chance there on a Tuesday, tell them you are from the cruise ship and you’ll get a discount. Sometimes it is okay to lie.
Hilo is a bit of an industrial town and not worth more than a quick drop in. On Wednesday and Saturday, there is a KILLER farmer market with stuff we have never seen before. Talk about some very cool fruits and vegetables, not to mention my new sunglasses. You should also have the local Hawaiian hottie hack up a fresh coconut with a machete so you can drink the luxurious milk right out of the shell. Thoroughly worth the three bucks if you know what we mean.
The Big Island is a place that gets in your blood and draws you back for future visits. From a total dive bar in Hilo, full of locals singing native songs, to an absolutely sumptuous meal at the Canoe House or Beach Tree at the Four Seasons, you’re hooked.
Mahalo…